a television role sounds appealing

64d7dc6c-8560-46c4-8ea0-1f7c16d81d62November 9, 2013- the idea of a television role sounds appealing to me. I don’t see it as a step down; keep your name out there! just because he was in The Hobbit doesn’t mean he’s automatically on the A list.

As a fan who came into the Richard Armitage fandom at the tail end of The Hobbit promotional tour, I always felt like I had missed out on seeing ‘the object of my affection’ weekly in television form. not that I would have been able to see Robin Hood or Spooks weekly anyway, since I live in the United States, but don’t ruin my pity party! when Richard was cast in Hannibal, I was excited for the opportunity to finally join in on the fun. it was broadcast on NBC, which made it readily available for me to see Richard on my screen week by week. only, once it did come to pass, I did what I almost always do with television shows these days: I recorded it to watch at a later date, which puts me weeks (if not months) behind. with this particular show it was due to the subject matter; psychologically scary and a bit on the gory side. with Berlin Station, it was inappropriate content that I didn’t want my preteen to unexpectedly wander into the room and see. confession: at present, I’ve only seen 3 full episodes of Berlin Station. I know, I know, such a sorry excuse for a fangirl! but it just didn’t grab me like I was expecting it to, like I wanted it to, like I needed it to.

Ideally I would prefer a weekly show that didn’t drag me down in heavy subject matter, or require me to watch each episode more than once in order to fully understand the plot. I’d like to see a character that told me a different storytumblr_lwjhn7hmmc1r8cvkvo1_500 each week, instead of one long narrative stretched out over a whole season. when I watch a weekly television show I want to feel a sense of familiarity towards the main characters, a bond, like friends getting together as we share with each other the ongoing stresses and mishaps that make up our lives. and when those stories get scary, overly emotional, or confusing, my ‘friends’ will be there to either guide me through it or walk along side me as we experience it together. neither Hannibal nor Berlin Station did that for me. maybe another opportunity will present itself in the future. maybe next time I’ll gain a friend.

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly

Mr. Fix It

64d7dc6c-8560-46c4-8ea0-1f7c16d81d62October 23, 2013- [home improvement projects] I don’t really remember him saying what specifically he worked on, I just assumed he meant general Mr. Fix It stuff along with maybe building some shelves or something. I like that he enjoys that stuff because the men I know enjoy it too.

When I’m researching and learning about a new celebrity crush, I take in a lot of information. the biographical information is less interesting to me than the personal likes and dislikes, so I tend to compartmentalize them. where he attended school, the names of his siblings, etc. gets pushed off to the side to make room for hobbies and favorite foods because those are more important to me, they help me visualize what he is like as a person. I’m not sure I could focus on his career and nothing more, I’m too curious, I need some sense of who he is off screen as well as on. watching from afar, never interacting with the person one-on-one, and only getting carefully selected edits of their life, makes my view unstable. I end up making them into a character themselves, my version of who I want them to be. it works fine, until I’m met with things that don’t fit into my constructed mold.

My initial impression of Richard Armitage stemmed from the version of him that we were presented with during The Hobbit promotions. broad shouldered, steady stance, bearded and somewhat intimidating at first glance but underneath there was a dry sense of humor, an intriguing intellect, and a softness that hinted at a teddy bear beneath the scruff. it only made sense then that this Richard liked to work with his hands, to build things like shelves or cabinets. the house that was ‘a bit of a tip’ with clothes lying around on the floor fit too, as did cooking eggs in the2d677909-d272-4e4e-a86c-cc67976b4dd2 microwave and whipping up macaroni salad to eat. what was harder to place within that mold was the wine connoisseur, the self proclaimed foodie who willingly consumed steak tartare, someone whose ‘danger sport’ of choice was skiing, and listed classical music selections among his favorites. I willingly reshaped my mold to include these things because it was exciting to think that Richard could be more than I originally surmised. but as time went on, I saw less and less of the gruff teddy bear with the dry wit and more of the chameleon that took on the traits of whatever role he was currently portraying. it made me start to wonder who I was actually crushing on, Richard Armitage, or a modern fanfiction version of Thorin Oakenshield. I’m still wondering.

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly

I was disappointed

64d7dc6c-8560-46c4-8ea0-1f7c16d81d62August 24, 2013- I didn’t like his voice in the most recent New Zealand promo video. it’s like he was trying to sound too animated, almost like a character instead of just a voice. I really like ‘just the voice’, so I was disappointed.

I think what bothered me about this example of Richard’s voice, was that in trying to establish a certain tone, he ended up taking away the essence of why I like his voice; he removed all traces of himself from it. the narration sounds like it should be part of a classical reading, devoid of the personality that I was used to hearing in his audio books and film portrayals. while this dissatisfaction could just be a preference issue, for me it was scratching at the surface of something deeper.

11279_530438850323363_1612349039_nwhile I know that sometimes an actor has to do things that don’t excite them in order to work their way up to the things that do, I also know that too many “space filler” projects can sometimes turn into a whirlpool that can be difficult for them to find their way out of. at this point, The Hobbit was bringing Richard out into the light, and so my fears of what the spotlight may or may not do to the new ‘object of my affection’ were bubbling underneath. I didn’t want to lose him already, when I had just found him. the thought that he could start to disappoint me, that projects he would do might not touch me in the fulfilling ways that I had become accustomed to, was not something that I wanted to acknowledge. ‘all or nothing’ is a theme I still struggle with.

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly

I would like to see him in a romantic relationship

64d7dc6c-8560-46c4-8ea0-1f7c16d81d62July 24, 2013- I would like to see him in a romantic relationship just as much as the next fan (because boys are cute when they’re in love!) but if he’s single for the rest of his life, and happy, then that is what I want for him.

Boys are cute when they’re in love. the sweet glances and constant touches, the seemingly unconscious mentions of how their world automatically includes someone else. yes, I’m a romantic at heart! seeing Richard wear a wedding band would make the swoon factor skyrocket for me, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. and that’s okay. while I would love to see him in a romantic relationship, I won’t be gutted if it never happens. Richard seems to be ‘married’ to his career at the moment, and has said in past interviews that he realizes the pressure his career would put on a relationship/family. I hope that he’s not closing himself off to the possibility, but I realize that it is not necessarily a goal for everyone.

robertascroft-25I want to see a happy Richard, a content Richard, a fulfilled Richard. if that doesn’t include a romantic relationship that he’s willing to share with the public, then so be it. if that doesn’t include a romantic relationship at all, then so be it. he’s going to live his life the way he sees fit, as he should. that doesn’t mean I can’t have opinions about what I would like to see. so I’m going to hold onto my hope that someday I’ll get to see Richard share those sweet glances and constant touches with someone; that he’ll pepper his conversations with unconscious mentions of someone lighting up his world; that someday the swoon factor of his photoshoot pictures will skyrocket even more with the inclusion of a wedding band. I don’t need that to happen to continue being a fan of Richard Armitage, it won’t lessen my opinion of him or take away from his talent in my eyes. but if it did happen, my romance-craving-self would revel in it! I’ll hold onto my hope.

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly

I hope Hollywood doesn’t hurt him

64d7dc6c-8560-46c4-8ea0-1f7c16d81d62July 23, 2013- Richard has always been so grateful for his fans, and lets that be known repeatedly. he seems to be such a genuine good person, I sincerely hope Hollywood doesn’t hurt him.

 

Richard Armitage is not my first celebrity crush. I’ve had many through the years, Ewan McGregor, Christian Bale, Robert Pattinson, Jamie Dornan, just to name the big ones. following their careers, reading of their thoughts and struggles in interviews, seeing them try to navigate life in the public eye, has made me cynical towards Hollywood. you could be the best actor of your generation and stuck in low budget movies that hardly see the light of day, or you could be an amateur that stumbles into a golden opportunity and is set for life; there’s no rhyme or reason to it most of the time. so when I see an actor that I admire ‘moving on up’ it always makes me nervous. will he be able to navigate the slippery slopes of fame? will he make it big but lose himself in the process? will he get so many doors shut in his face that he’ll give up completely? and the most important question: will. he. lose. his. accent?!

When I first became a fan of Richard Armitage, he had just started portraying Thorin Oakenshield. he’d had some success in the UK with popular television series but The Hobbit franchise would introduce him to the world at large. I felt like I had gotten to know the ‘old him’ by catching up on past interviews and reading the letters that he wrote to the fandom, and I was getting to know the ‘present him’ from the countless interviews and appearances of the promotional tour. I noticed differences in the two personas but it was nothing that seemed out of the ordinary to me. Richard seemed more open and carefree previously, compared to the more stoic and cautious version, but I chalked that up to age, experience, and the tone of the movie he was working on. what hadn’t changed was his quiet nature, his manners, and his playful self-depreciation. he seemed so nice, so calm, so content with his life. Richard seemed to have it all under control; I had nothing to worry about.

In August of 2014 Richard Armitage, moody actor and anti-socialite, joined Twitter. I was apprehensive. this meant that he would have to promote himself, that he would have to sell himself to us, that he would have to kiss ass in order to get ahead. I didn’t like that thought. I had two main fears: 1) that he would fail at it 2) that he would succeed. as it currently stands, I feel he’s failed at it; that makes me both happy and sad. happy that he’s not very good at playing the game, and sad because his ‘in control’ persona died a slow and painful death for me. so now I’ve come full circle: I hope Hollywood doesn’t hurt him. or more specifically: I hope Hollywood doesn’t hurt me (again) through him.

pod0601_zps4269d10cI hope Hollywood doesn’t make him care about his image too much, I hope Hollywood doesn’t make him second guess himself, I hope Hollywood doesn’t splash his personal struggles all over the gossip magazines, I hope Hollywood leaves him in peace. Richard said in a recent interview that he wants to move back home to England, that he’s accomplished what he set out to accomplish in the States. I was very happy to read those words. I’ll still worry, but I’ll worry less if he keeps his accent…

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly