I would like to see him in a romantic relationship

64d7dc6c-8560-46c4-8ea0-1f7c16d81d62July 24, 2013- I would like to see him in a romantic relationship just as much as the next fan (because boys are cute when they’re in love!) but if he’s single for the rest of his life, and happy, then that is what I want for him.

Boys are cute when they’re in love. the sweet glances and constant touches, the seemingly unconscious mentions of how their world automatically includes someone else. yes, I’m a romantic at heart! seeing Richard wear a wedding band would make the swoon factor skyrocket for me, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. and that’s okay. while I would love to see him in a romantic relationship, I won’t be gutted if it never happens. Richard seems to be ‘married’ to his career at the moment, and has said in past interviews that he realizes the pressure his career would put on a relationship/family. I hope that he’s not closing himself off to the possibility, but I realize that it is not necessarily a goal for everyone.

robertascroft-25I want to see a happy Richard, a content Richard, a fulfilled Richard. if that doesn’t include a romantic relationship that he’s willing to share with the public, then so be it. if that doesn’t include a romantic relationship at all, then so be it. he’s going to live his life the way he sees fit, as he should. that doesn’t mean I can’t have opinions about what I would like to see. so I’m going to hold onto my hope that someday I’ll get to see Richard share those sweet glances and constant touches with someone; that he’ll pepper his conversations with unconscious mentions of someone lighting up his world; that someday the swoon factor of his photoshoot pictures will skyrocket even more with the inclusion of a wedding band. I don’t need that to happen to continue being a fan of Richard Armitage, it won’t lessen my opinion of him or take away from his talent in my eyes. but if it did happen, my romance-craving-self would revel in it! I’ll hold onto my hope.

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly

I hope Hollywood doesn’t hurt him

64d7dc6c-8560-46c4-8ea0-1f7c16d81d62July 23, 2013- Richard has always been so grateful for his fans, and lets that be known repeatedly. he seems to be such a genuine good person, I sincerely hope Hollywood doesn’t hurt him.

 

Richard Armitage is not my first celebrity crush. I’ve had many through the years, Ewan McGregor, Christian Bale, Robert Pattinson, Jamie Dornan, just to name the big ones. following their careers, reading of their thoughts and struggles in interviews, seeing them try to navigate life in the public eye, has made me cynical towards Hollywood. you could be the best actor of your generation and stuck in low budget movies that hardly see the light of day, or you could be an amateur that stumbles into a golden opportunity and is set for life; there’s no rhyme or reason to it most of the time. so when I see an actor that I admire ‘moving on up’ it always makes me nervous. will he be able to navigate the slippery slopes of fame? will he make it big but lose himself in the process? will he get so many doors shut in his face that he’ll give up completely? and the most important question: will. he. lose. his. accent?!

When I first became a fan of Richard Armitage, he had just started portraying Thorin Oakenshield. he’d had some success in the UK with popular television series but The Hobbit franchise would introduce him to the world at large. I felt like I had gotten to know the ‘old him’ by catching up on past interviews and reading the letters that he wrote to the fandom, and I was getting to know the ‘present him’ from the countless interviews and appearances of the promotional tour. I noticed differences in the two personas but it was nothing that seemed out of the ordinary to me. Richard seemed more open and carefree previously, compared to the more stoic and cautious version, but I chalked that up to age, experience, and the tone of the movie he was working on. what hadn’t changed was his quiet nature, his manners, and his playful self-depreciation. he seemed so nice, so calm, so content with his life. Richard seemed to have it all under control; I had nothing to worry about.

In August of 2014 Richard Armitage, moody actor and anti-socialite, joined Twitter. I was apprehensive. this meant that he would have to promote himself, that he would have to sell himself to us, that he would have to kiss ass in order to get ahead. I didn’t like that thought. I had two main fears: 1) that he would fail at it 2) that he would succeed. as it currently stands, I feel he’s failed at it; that makes me both happy and sad. happy that he’s not very good at playing the game, and sad because his ‘in control’ persona died a slow and painful death for me. so now I’ve come full circle: I hope Hollywood doesn’t hurt him. or more specifically: I hope Hollywood doesn’t hurt me (again) through him.

pod0601_zps4269d10cI hope Hollywood doesn’t make him care about his image too much, I hope Hollywood doesn’t make him second guess himself, I hope Hollywood doesn’t splash his personal struggles all over the gossip magazines, I hope Hollywood leaves him in peace. Richard said in a recent interview that he wants to move back home to England, that he’s accomplished what he set out to accomplish in the States. I was very happy to read those words. I’ll still worry, but I’ll worry less if he keeps his accent…

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly

Richard calms me

64d7dc6c-8560-46c4-8ea0-1f7c16d81d62July 22, 2013- I try to keep a level head and ground myself in reality as much as I can. certain things get under my skin still and will rile me up, but I calm down a lot quicker than I used to; Richard calms me. it may be him, it may be the encouraging atmosphere of this fandom, or it may just be my experience/age. I think it’s a combination of all three, but I’ll credit Richard!

When I first started blogging about Richard Armitage in May of 2013, fangirling about him did calm me. I felt as if I’d finally found my place, on blog and in the RA fandom at large. as with the beginning stages of any celebrity crush, my world revolved around him: hunting down and watching all of his work and public appearances, familiarizing myself with his personality and background, and exploring the fandom that had built up around him. the blog gave me a place to play, while the fandom gave me a voice. I stumbled into a lot of fandom drama at the beginning, but it eventually evened out and became an integral part of my everyday routine. It did calm me, the routine itself and the serene nature of the man himself. but things change, whether we give them permission to or not. 

Things changed for me in regards to Richard Armitage, and I wasn’t ready for them to; my opinions, my perceptions, my routine. I tried to hang on with an iron tight grip, which only made things harder in the end. eventually I had to stop blogging about Richard Armitage and pull back from the fandom itself (after many half-hearted attempts). When I finally did, I felt it was the right decision. I felt good about it, didn’t regret it (still don’t) but it left many unanswered questions for me: why did it change for me? when did it start changing? how did it change?

After I closed the blog, I focused on my other celebrity crush and put Richard and everything that went with him on the shelf for awhile. I took him back off that shelf recently and am ready to try and figure out the answers to those questions. hence, a new blogging venture. the old blog was about celebrating and highlighting favorites in a playful manner, this blog is going to be straight-up introspective. I’ll still be highlighting favorites in a way, at the beginning at least, but it will be all about my feelings: what I felt about Richard at certain times, how I regarded him, and then the progression of how that changed. I’ll be doing this by taking past things that I have said about him in conversation, and using those excerpts as thoughts to ponder. 

I’m still a fan of Richard Armitage, tumblr_mm09xt6ako1qdppkro1_1280I still enjoy his work and personality, but what/how I enjoy has changed. I need to pinpoint that in order to find a new routine in regards to him, a new kind of calm. it’s about to get personal; I’m both excited and nervous to see what I find.

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly